March 2025 — ElonMuskArrested.com

Elon Musk, the self-proclaimed savior of humanity, appeared on national television this week with tears in his eyes, claiming:

“I’ve never hurt anybody. I’m not a violent person.”

Which is wild, considering he once challenged Mark Zuckerberg to a cage match, threatened to “bring a flamethrower” to regulators, blew up half a wildlife refuge in Boca Chica, and routinely puts drivers in danger with unfinished beta software.

But sure, Elon. You’ve never hurt anybody.

🧼 Let’s Clean the Blood Off the Self-Driving Beta, Shall We?

While Musk has told the public that Tesla Full Self-Driving is safer than human drivers, real-world data disagrees.

According to NHTSA reports:

• Tesla’s “Autopilot” is involved in more accidents and more fatalities than any comparable system
• Tesla’s have the most accidents and the most fatal accidents by far
• Musk insists it’s “not actually autonomous” when in court, but calls it Full Self-Driving in ads
• The beta program has been released to the public without adequate safety measures

But no worries. Elon “has never hurt anybody.”

🦅 Rockets, Explosions, and Environmental Carnage

At his SpaceX facility in Boca Chica, Texas, Musk has:

• Blown up multiple rockets near protected wildlife zones
• Damaged the surrounding habitat with debris and noise
• Caused evacuations in nearby communities during launches
• And pushed forward despite known environmental risks

Oh—and he called the endangered animals “fine” because he “didn’t see any.”

📎 Source: The Verge – FAA Criticism of SpaceX

🤖 “Let’s Fight!” → “Actually Never Mind”

Let’s not forget the time Elon publicly challenged Mark Zuckerberg to a cage match on Twitter (now X), then…

• Demanded it happen in his backyard
• Requested “a noble, ancient setting like Rome”
• Then backed out entirely once Zuckerberg said, “Okay, let’s go.”

“I might need surgery,” Musk later said.
“I may not actually fight.”
“We’ll livestream it… one day.”

In short: he talked tough, then realized he’d get his ass zucked.

🧠 Holocaust Dismissals and Platformed Hate

Musk has also:

• Dismissed and mocked concerns about Holocaust denial on X
• Reinstated accounts banned for hate speech
• Attacked watchdog organizations tracking extremism
• And claimed “the woke mind virus” is the real threat

Meanwhile, he’s still platforming literal fascists and posting memes at 3 a.m. while calling for civility.

☠️ The Casualties of Greed

Let’s be honest: Elon Musk’s recklessness has cost lives.

• Drivers have died using his unfinished tech
• Birds and marine life are displaced or killed by rocket tests
• False promises of autonomy and safety have created public risk
• And misinformation on X has escalated violence and hate

So when he says “I’ve never hurt anybody,” what he really means is:
He doesn’t believe the people he’s hurt count.

🧠 Disclaimer

This is satire—but it’s based on real statements, lawsuits, crash data, environmental reports, and Elon Musk’s own actions.

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