March 2025 — ElonMuskArrested.com

Elon Musk claims we must colonize Mars to ensure the survival of humanity.
He calls it “life insurance for the species.”
He says we must become “multiplanetary.”

But here’s the truth:

Mars is uninhabitable.
Unreachable.
And utterly incompatible with life as we know it.

☢️ Mars Will Kill You in Every Way Possible

Let’s be brutally honest about what Mars offers:

• No breathable atmosphere
• No magnetosphere, meaning deadly radiation from the Sun and cosmic rays bombard the surface 24/7
• Temperatures averaging -81°F, colder than Antarctica
• 62% less gravity, which would destroy human health over time
• Dust storms that can blanket the planet for months and damage equipment
• Toxic soil filled with perchlorates that poison human organs

This isn’t a fixer-upper.
It’s a death trap wrapped in red dirt.

🔋 Life Support? Where?

To survive on Mars, you would need:

• Constant oxygen generation
• Water extraction or transport
• Radiation shielding
• Pressurized living environments
• Backup systems for every single one of the above

There’s no farming.
No standing water.
No resources to build with.
Everything must be imported—from 140 million miles away.

Which raises the question:

If we can’t provide clean water in Flint, how will we terraform Mars?

🚀 A Fantasy Sold With Ancient Fuel

Every single plan to colonize Mars today relies on chemical rockets, a 70-year-old technology. There is no warp drive. No revolutionary propulsion. No plan that involves anything other than 20+ methane-powered launches just to get to the Moon—let alone Mars.

Even if Starship worked (which it doesn’t), Musk’s timeline would require:

• Dozens of launches
• Orbital refueling
• Hundreds of tons of cargo
• Perfect coordination across launch windows every 26 months

That’s not colonization.
That’s a PowerPoint animation with a $4 billion price tag.

📎 Related article: Starship Can’t Reach the Moon, But Musk Says It’ll Save Humanity on Mars

🧍‍♂️ Elon Musk Will Never Go to Mars

He’s never gone to space.
He’s never ridden a rocket.
He has no training, no timeline, and no intent to leave Earth.

When asked when he’ll go to Mars himself, Musk said: “We’ll see.”

Meanwhile, his fans are buying Mars-themed NFTs, Starship tickets, and t-shirts for a journey no one alive will survive.

📎 Related: Terminal Muskosis: The Fatal Condition Affecting Millions of Elon’s Followers

💸 Mars Isn’t About Survival. It’s About Money.

This isn’t a rescue mission for Earth. It’s a sales pitch.
Musk hypes Mars because it’s the most expensive project imaginable, and he collects a percentage of the pipe dream.

It’s the ultimate con:

• He scares the public with extinction
• Then offers Mars as the solution
• And makes billions on tech that doesn’t work

You won’t live on Mars.
He won’t go to Mars.
But he’ll happily take Earth’s money to pretend.

🧠 Disclaimer

This is satire, but based on physics, planetary science, engineering reality, and Musk’s own public statements. Mars is not a Plan B. It’s a red rock surrounded by lies.

🧢 Keep your feet on Earth. Shop now.
💰 Buy this site before Elon trademark’s Mars Air™.