March 2025 — ElonMuskArrested.com

Elon Musk claims we must colonize Mars to save humanity from extinction. He paints a future where we escape Earth before climate change, AI, or a rogue asteroid takes us out.

But there’s one small problem.

His rocket can’t even reach the Moon.

🌕 Earth Orbit Is the Ceiling

SpaceX’s flagship vehicle, Starship, has flown eight times.
None have delivered cargo.
None have carried a human.
None have reached the Moon.
In fact, none have made it to orbit.

This matters because in 2021, NASA awarded SpaceX $3–4 billion in funding to develop a lunar version of Starship for the Artemis program—a mission that was supposed to land the first woman and person of color on the Moon.

Today, the mission is canceled.
Starship is nowhere near ready.
And Musk is now saying the Moon isn’t important.

📎 Related article: Elon Musk Arrested for Defrauding the Government While Complaining About Regulations

🪐 Mars: 120x Further Than the Moon

Let’s do the math.

The Moon is about 250,000 miles away.
Mars? On average, 140 million miles.
That’s over 560x further. And due to orbital mechanics, launch windows only open every 26 months.

To send a single Starship to the Moon, Musk’s own plan requires 16–20 launches for orbital refueling. Every one of those launches would have to go perfectly—no delays, no explosions, no boil-off errors—just to attempt a landing.

And we’re supposed to believe he’ll do that to Mars?

🔥 Chemical Rockets Are Not the Future

Starship runs on methane and liquid oxygen—chemical propulsion tech that dates back over 70 years.

Even at peak efficiency, you only gain marginal improvements. There’s no warp drive. No antimatter. No magic ion beam.

So when Musk says we must colonize Mars to survive the Sun’s expansion in 5 billion years, the question is:

What is Elon Musk building today that will last five billion years?

He’s using the same fuel we used to launch Sputnik.

He’s just adding CGI and Twitter hype.

🧍‍♂️ He’s Never Been to Space Himself

Jeff Bezos went to space.
So did Richard Branson.
Musk? Still on Earth.

When asked when he’ll go, his answer was:

“We’ll see.”

That’s the same man asking for trillions in funding to lead humanity to Mars. He won’t even get in the capsule.

📎 Related: Terminal Muskosis: The Fatal Condition Affecting Millions of Elon’s Followers

🧪 Mars Is a Death Trap

Let’s be clear:

• No magnetosphere
• No breathable atmosphere
• 62% lower gravity
• Solar radiation levels that sterilize life
• Temperatures cold enough to freeze exposed skin in seconds

And somehow, the man who can’t build a Cybertruck with straight panels wants to build a self-sustaining civilization out there?

💰 Mars Is the Grift of a Lifetime

The real reason Musk talks about Mars is simple:
It’s the most expensive story he can sell.

Colonizing Mars means:

• Infinite engineering contracts
• Untested tech with no delivery timeline
• Constant media hype
• And no one can prove him wrong because he’ll be dead before anyone gets there

That’s the con.
It’s not a plan to save the world.
It’s a plan to bill the world, one launch deposit at a time.

📎 See also: Tesla Took $295 Million in EV Credits for a Battery Swap That Never Happened

🧠 Disclaimer

This is satire, based on real engineering limitations, funding records, launch data, and the most bloated space grift since the Vegas Loop. Starship can’t even take bananas to orbit. But sure, let’s trust it to save the species.

🧢 Support Earth. Wear the truth.
💰 Buy this site before he trademarks Mars.