March 2025 — ElonMuskArrested.com
Elon Musk, the self-proclaimed savior of humanity, appeared on national television this week with tears in his eyes, claiming:
“I’ve never hurt anybody. I’m not a violent person.”
Which is wild, considering he once challenged Mark Zuckerberg to a cage match, threatened to “bring a flamethrower” to regulators, blew up half a wildlife refuge in Boca Chica, and routinely puts drivers in danger with unfinished beta software.
But sure, Elon. You’ve never hurt anybody.
🧼 Let’s Clean the Blood Off the Self-Driving Beta, Shall We?
While Musk has told the public that Tesla Full Self-Driving is safer than human drivers, real-world data disagrees.
According to NHTSA reports:
- Tesla’s “Autopilot” is involved in more accidents and more fatalities than any comparable system
- Tesla’s have the most accidents and the most fatal accidents by far
- Musk insists it’s “not actually autonomous” when in court, but calls it Full Self-Driving in ads
- The beta program has been released to the public without adequate safety measures
But no worries. Elon “has never hurt anybody.”
🦅 Rockets, Explosions, and Environmental Carnage
At his SpaceX facility in Boca Chica, Texas, Musk has:
- Blown up multiple rockets near protected wildlife zones
- Damaged the surrounding habitat with debris and noise
- Caused evacuations in nearby communities during launches
- And pushed forward despite known environmental risks
Oh—and he called the endangered animals “fine” because he “didn’t see any.”
📎 Source: The Verge – FAA Criticism of SpaceX
🤖 “Let’s Fight!” → “Actually Never Mind”
Let’s not forget the time Elon publicly challenged Mark Zuckerberg to a cage match on Twitter (now X), then…
- Demanded it happen in his backyard
- Requested “a noble, ancient setting like Rome”
- Then backed out entirely once Zuckerberg said, “Okay, let’s go.”
“I might need surgery,” Musk later said.
“I may not actually fight.”
“We’ll livestream it… one day.”
In short: he talked tough, then realized he’d get his ass zucked.
🧠 Holocaust Dismissals and Platformed Hate
Musk has also:
- Dismissed and mocked concerns about Holocaust denial on X
- Reinstated accounts banned for hate speech
- Attacked watchdog organizations tracking extremism
- And claimed “the woke mind virus” is the real threat
Meanwhile, he’s still platforming literal fascists and posting memes at 3 a.m. while calling for civility.
☠️ The Casualties of Greed
Let’s be honest: Elon Musk’s recklessness has cost lives.
- Drivers have died using his unfinished tech
- Birds and marine life are displaced or killed by rocket tests
- False promises of autonomy and safety have created public risk
- And misinformation on X has escalated violence and hate
So when he says “I’ve never hurt anybody,” what he really means is:
He doesn’t believe the people he’s hurt count.
🧠 Disclaimer
This is satire—but it’s based on real statements, lawsuits, crash data, environmental reports, and Elon Musk’s own actions.
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