Imagine a country founded in rebellion over a 3% tea tax, now reduced to half its citizens begging the government to tax them for electric cars they don’t even want — all so a billionaire can keep scamming them. Welcome to the modern American free market.
You can’t call it free when the whole thing is propped up by government handouts, tax credits, and taxpayer-funded bailouts. But here we are, watching millions of people cheerlead corporate welfare because they think it might bump their Tesla stock by a few bucks. This isn’t free-market capitalism; this is the Stockholm Syndrome economy.
The Fantasy of Profiting Off Your Neighbor
Let’s break down the math behind this fantasy.
The idea is that if the government shovels billions more of your tax dollars into Tesla — through EV credits, subsidies, and federal contracts — then Tesla’s profits will rise. And if profits rise, the stock will go up. And if the stock goes up… you’ll make money.
That’s the dream.
But here’s the problem:
- Tesla’s valuation is already 15 to 20 times higher than reality, before earnings even come out.
- The stock price is based on future promises Musk can’t deliver, not on revenue or profits.
- You are literally advocating for your neighbor’s tax bill to increase, your own infrastructure to rot, and public services to collapse — just so you might get an extra $100 out of your Tesla shares.
- And when it crashes? You’ll be stuck holding the bag while Musk cashes out.
This isn’t capitalism. This is a Ponzi scheme disguised as populism.
The Government’s Role — and the Civil Forfeiture Hypocrisy
You know what’s ironic?
The same government that can confiscate your cash if you’re pulled over with too much money in your glove box — civil forfeiture laws — can’t seem to claw back the billions they handed to Elon Musk, even after he’s spent it all building empty factories, laying off workers, and pumping stock prices with Twitter memes.
You, the taxpayer, are expected to give up your home, your car, or your savings without question. But Musk, who has built his entire empire on your tax dollars, faces no consequences.
Maybe it’s time to start asking why the laws that allow police to seize $500 off a truck driver in Kansas aren’t being used on a man who’s siphoned off $38 billion and counting in public money.
Every Time It Fails, You Pay
The delusion is that Tesla and Musk’s ventures are “too big to fail.” But every time they stumble, you pay for it:
- When Cybertruck sales tank?
You’ll pay. He’ll fire 10% of the workforce, quality will nosedive, and then you’ll be asked to buy the product again, with more subsidies. - When Starlink loses foreign contracts because Musk runs his mouth?
You’ll pay. Governments will fill the gap with taxpayer money. - When Twitter (now X) burns to the ground, leaving a $13 billion crater?
You’ll pay. Because now XAI will buy it, and guess what? Your pension fund, your taxes, your infrastructure — all looted to keep this circus running.
The Game They’re Playing
What’s next?
Every four years, we switch sides and spend trillions on the other team’s favorite toys?
Maybe after this election, we’ll all be forced to buy environmentally-friendly boats, or solar-powered golf carts for billionaires’ summer homes.
Why stop at Cybertrucks?
This isn’t democracy.
This isn’t capitalism.
It’s institutionalized servitude disguised as economic policy.
It’s one massive scheme designed to keep you chasing scraps while billionaires play with taxpayer-funded toys and launder money between shell companies — all while telling you it’s “the free market.”
