FREMONT, CA — Elon Musk has been arrested and charged with wire fraud after authorities concluded that the long-promised Tesla Roadster 2 was “never real to begin with.”
Federal prosecutors allege that Tesla collected over $250 million in deposits and preorders since 2017 for a vehicle that has “as much chance of existing as a unicorn-powered Mars shuttle.” The Department of Justice confirmed they found nothing in the prototype garage but a Hot Wheels version of the Roadster, a smoke machine, and several copies of Cyberpunk 2077.
🕵️♂️ “It Was Just a Slide Deck”
The investigation cites multiple years of public claims, missed deadlines, and staged unveilings of the Roadster 2—all of which conveniently generated new preorder revenue whenever Tesla needed a bump.
One DOJ official stated:
“After eight years and zero cars, we started to suspect the car was not, in fact, ‘coming soon.’ Especially when Musk tweeted it was ‘waiting on rocket tech.’”
💸 Millions Taken, Nothing Delivered
From $5,000 deposits to $250,000 “Founder Series” reservations, customers were promised a car that would:
- Go 0-60 in 1.9 seconds
- Hit a top speed of 250+ mph
- Have a 600-mile range
- Be delivered in 2020, then 2021, then 2023, then… silence
Instead, all they got was delayed emails, awkward Tweets, and a recycled prototype that hasn’t visibly changed since its unveiling.
🎥 This Isn’t Just Satire—It’s Documented
Independent investigators and skeptics have been warning the public for years. Popular YouTubers like ThunderF00t and Common Sense Skeptic have thoroughly debunked the car’s feasibility and the broken promises behind it.
Even Instagram creators joined in—this viral video alone has reached nearly half a million views, laying out the timeline and deception in plain language.
🏎️ Vaporware on Wheels
At the time of Musk’s arrest, Tesla claimed the Roadster 2 was “still in development” and “on track for the next big announcement that will definitely not be followed by silence and more Bitcoin memes.”
SEC officials were less impressed, stating:
“We’ve seen crowdfunding scams before, but this one came with a SpaceX badge and a fan club.”
📉 Tesla Stock Reaction
TSLA dipped briefly before rebounding once investors realized this arrest had already been priced in somewhere around the third missed launch date.
🧠 Disclaimer
This is satire, based on publicly available facts, delays, financial filings, and Elon Musk’s own statements. Elon Musk has not been arrested for wire fraud. But if anyone else collected $250M for a product that never showed up, they probably would be.
